Bi-couples and threesomes - at
first sight rather similar. Men and women in sexual interaction among each other. But how does it actually work
in life? Are there crucial differences between the two kinds of relationships?
Some say that men and women view sex
and intimacy in a completely different manner. Namely, men have a need to
conquer with as many women as possible. They are
ever-lasting hunters with
their deeply subconscious need for procreation. Even though many men live
monogamously, this is considered to be their genuine feature, their real nature
indeed. On the other hand, women’s perspective of sex has to do with their
self-esteem and their need to be desired and powerful. Evolution shows that
women get excited when two or more men fight for their affection. Males have to
prove themselves to the females, who then chose the best and the strongest option
among the contestants. It is a primitive urge for a woman to have the best
option, to provide herself with stability. The need is very much related to the
preparation of the safe grounds for offspring.
However, these features are considered to be some general background for
occurrence of
threesomes in both
male and female cases. Of course, we are now talking about genuine motives,
sub-conscious background. In less conventional systems of functioning,
threesomes occur sometimes as experiments, while some people tend to nourish
the habit of having threesomes on a regular basis. The concrete reasons and
triggers vary from case to case. Any individual has their own personal motives
for entering this kind of
relationship,
whether it is an adventurous spirit, a deeply seated need for infidelity or a
longing to please and keep their partner.
One of the crucial differences between threesomes and
bi-couples is that threesomes do not necessarily include any kind
of homosexual interaction. It happens, but the main focus of the phenomenon is
not on homosexuality. While bi-couples necessarily include the aspect of
accepted homosexuality on both sides.
Threesomes are also of different nature from the sexual life of bi-couples from
one more aspect. Namely,
bi-couples have a structured and systematic way of
functioning with each other. The homosexuality being an integral part of the
relationship, in the relationship of a bi-couple, the appearance of third
parties comes as the established rule, agreed upon by both sides, and it
happens more systematically. Threesomes, on the other hand, happen in a more
random manner simply because partners do not have a constant need of
interacting with partners of the same sex, if they have it at all.
Bi-couples, on the other hand, have a rather different setting. Probably a bit
more complex as well. They enjoy each other’s
bisexuality and fluidity. There
is a little feeling of competition involved as well. Some of them claim that
they enjoy their partners being attracted to the same gender, but feel
fortunate to be the object of attraction as well. On the other hand, the
relationship of that kind is grounded on the fact that both of them are aware
of the
circumstances that they can never completely fulfill each other’s sexual
appetites. Therefore, the crave for adventure is mutual and accepted. Even
though there are other partners involved occasionally, or most of the time,
they actually have exclusive periods in their relationships. In order to
maintain the relationship, either of them can call on exclusivity due to some
external challenges or just a need to feel safe. They also tend to say that
they enjoy their partner’s mind and body. They form emotional relationships
with great amount of understanding and acceptance, but also usually put the
relationship before the need for having sex with partner of opposite gender.
Either way, humans are humans. With all their qualities, faults, affinities,
cravings, lusts, desires, weaknesses or habits. We all make decisions on how we
are going to live our lives. We all do our best to be who we are and not be
lonely in it. We all give what we think we can, to ourselves and others, in
order to meet our own personal, deeply rooted, requirements and motives.
Sometimes the means for getting there are less conventional than others.
Sometimes the route is more difficult or more painful. But it is still our
route. And our choice.
